we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize