ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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