i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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