I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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