new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
