guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
