Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
