fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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