We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He better not be in your backpack
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize