He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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