Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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