My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
