Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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