Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
