This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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