Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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