thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
