How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
