I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
