Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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