So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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