He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize