It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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