Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have post one night stand depression
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