We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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