He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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