I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Will you blow on my dice?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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