I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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