she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize