I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
