So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
