morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
