Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
