bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There r osticjed everywhere
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
