i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
