Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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