You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
