I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
