I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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