Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
