It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
