Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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