I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
