so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
