R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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