I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
