fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize