Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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