I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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