i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
