Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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