hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
