Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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