and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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