Whod you bang
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
