tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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